Would You Wait Four Months for This Boring Ass Dress?

Illustration for article titled Would You Wait Four Months for This Boring Ass Dress?

Women are waiting four months to purchase this aggressively boring $235 dress. This seems silly. Online retailer MM.LaFleur is scrambling to restock “the Tory” as over 1,000 people sit on a waiting list. Orders are expected to be delivered in January 2016.

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As far as basic black dresses go, this one is remarkably average. The designer of the dress, Miyako Nakamura, does not seem to think so, as she told the New York Post:

“It looks like a simple black wrap dress, but there are a lot of details that set it apart,” Nakamura says. “First, the wrap is fixed at the hip and lined on the inside, so the front will never open or gape the way a traditional wrap dress often does.”

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I’m not fashion designer, but I’m willing to guess that this is not actually a major issue with wrap dresses as many women continue to wear traditional wrap dresses without incident.

The other justification for “the Tory,” is that it’s easy to look after.

The secret to the popularity of the $235 minimalist faux-wrap dress lies in the details, which are infused with Nakamura’s Japanese sensibilities. It’s constructed from a highly breathable, wrinkle-resistant Japanese crepe that is also machine washable — meaning no dry cleaning or tussling with an iron.

And if you just want to freshen up the garment without laundering the entire piece, there are removable patches made of extra-absorbent CoolTech jersey that snap in to the underarms, a feature not available in other MM.LaFleur dresses.

So, sure, that sounds handy, but, you know, still not really worth $235 and four months of waiting.

The waistline seems sort of droopy and not that flattering—like you’d need a belt to really cinch your waist. The seam at the waist also makes this dress look like one of those items that is meant to look like too separate pieces, but is in fact, just one garment. Frankly, it gives it a bit of a cheap-looking quality even though this dress costs $235.

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This is a very OK dress.

Illustration for article titled Would You Wait Four Months for This Boring Ass Dress?
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If this dress cost, like, $60 and I worked in corporate office, I’d probably buy it.

If this dress was sold at H&M for $30, I’d probably buy it.

If this dress cost like $100 and I attended a lot of funerals, I’d probably buy it.

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If I lived in Washington DC, I’d probably buy this dress.

I would not, however wait four months for this very humdrum dress.


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Image and screenshot via MM.LaFleur.

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DISCUSSION

Wrap dresses are WONDERFUL in that they’re easily adjusted to your liking. Faux-wrap dresses are FUCKING BULLSHIT, and combine all the worst elements (waist at wrong level, neck too high or low, front skirt flaps that may or may not have enough fabric/overlap to prevent flashing in wind/when sitting) with the complete inability to change any of that without taking the fucking thing apart with scissors.

Also, that dress is lame AF. Neck too high, weird awkward sleeve length, seam at natural waist would make me look like a log with tits, and the skirt length (unhemmable due to white trim, which is maybe the only interesting thing about this dress to begin with) would be probably midcalf on my 5’3” self.