
My policy on gift certificates may as well be chiseled in stone: SPEND. DON’T EVER NOT SPEND. (It’s actually the opposite of that Ten Commandment against avarice.)
The most disappointing part of acupuncture was how I didn’t come out looking like Pinhead from Hellraiser, which most people already expect.
Most people already know not to expect to look like Pinhead.

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Sara Lautman is a cartoonist. Her drawings and comics have appeared in The Los Angeles Review of Books, The Awl, Bitch Magazine, The Morning News, The Rumpus and elsewhere. She lives in Baltimore.
DISCUSSION
My BF would agree this is also my superpower. I could sleep for days.