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The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

Of the many valuable lessons I’ve gleaned from watching every single Real Housewives franchise, I’ve learned that rich ladies love a statement necklace. It seems only necessary that we begin to catalog them for posterity’s sake.

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Originally I thought: “What if there aren’t enough statement necklaces to document?” Then I laughed hysterically to myself because of course there will be statement necklaces, dummy.

For the sake of time and my eyesight, we’re going to stick with Bravo’s current Real Housewife offerings. We shall begin with the queen of the statement necklace, the woman who quite possibly started it all: The artist formerly known as Countess LuAnn de Lesseps.

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LuAnn, New York

Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

Wearing a statement necklace in the opening credits reveals her true dedication to the statement necklace as A Look. She’s setting the stage—letting you know what she’s about and what’s to come. This also ensures that she’ll be wearing an enormous necklace in every episode of the season.

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Same dress, new source of neck strain.

Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace
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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

LuAnn’s ability to style her hair exactly the same way every single day of her life is rather remarkable. Only cartoon characters have that much consistency.

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Kristen, New York

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Kristen has kiiiind of been stepping into LuAnn’s territory this season with her overzealous neckwear. Watch out for this youngin’ coming in hot, LuAnn.

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Gina, Melbourne

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Gina is a barrister who hasn’t seen a flat shoe in decades and goes through what must be literal vats of eyeshadow. I’ll admit, I expected her statement necklace game to be stronger considering her propensity for wearing cocktail attire at all hours of the day and for events that are not cocktail parties.

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This is Gina during her plastics phase.

Jackie, Melbourne

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Jackie is a psychic. Feel free to write your own jokes.

Dorinda, New York

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OK Dorinda. I see you with those gold lips around your neck for no apparent reason.

Sonja, New York

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This almost seemed like a fluke for Ms. Sonja Morgan as she usually prefers pearls and the arms of 20-somethings around her neck.

Gamble, Melbourne

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Pettifleur, Melbourne

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Just like her attempts at being interesting this season, Pettifleur gave it a valiant effort.

Chyka, Melbourne

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Chyka came out swinging and ready to take LuAnn’s crown. Mind you—this isn’t even a full season’s worth.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace
Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace
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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

Sheath dress, statement necklace. Sheath dress, statement necklace. Sheath dress, statement necklace. Sheath dress, statement necklace. Sheath dress, statement necklace.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace
Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace
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Let’s take guesses on Chyka’s statement necklace budget.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

Special Mentions

Atlanta’s season is over and it’s a shame because Phaedra could have given both LuAnn and Chyka quite a run for their money. So let us now take a moment and give it up one time for perhaps the most magnificently absurd statement necklace in the history of the Real Housewives.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

While I cannot count embellishments as actual jewelry, I must give a shoutout to the statement collars of the Real Housewives because they have certainly earned some recognition.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

First and foremost, nobody loves a bejeweled statement collar like Dorinda loves a bejeweled statement collar.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

Atlantic City Chic

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

A statement pin? I’ll count it.

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Illustration for article titled The Real Housewives LOVE a Statement Necklace

And then there was this.


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

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DISCUSSION

tupiniquim
Tupiniquim - Our spin is DEAD

Statement necklaces are up there with lipstick on my list of how to make a pedestrian outfit (and a makeup free face) look put together and polished. Take a plain t-shirt, throw a huge-ass necklace on it, BOOM. Meh outfit, now new and improved.

Check out Forever 21 for statement necklaces that are way cheaper (and way prettier) than the monstrosities shown in the article.