Sara Lautman is a cartoonist. Her drawings and comics have appeared in The Los Angeles Review of Books, The Awl, Bitch Magazine, The Morning News, The Rumpus and elsewhere. She lives in Baltimore.
This is 100% accurate. It is apparently a desire beyond the realm of reason to want a pair of athletic shoes that do not look like Grandma's orthopedic Velcro sneakers AND YET also does not look like Lisa Frank's wet dream.