Here Is the Best Chunky-Ass Mascara for People With Otherwise Invisible Eyelashes

Illustration for article titled Here Is the Best Chunky-Ass Mascara for People With Otherwise Invisible Eyelashes

In our new series “Here Is the Best...” we’ll share our top beauty picks. Have a product you swear by? Send us an email.

Advertisement

I have straight, fine, basically invisible (bad) eyelashes, and I used to always wear a little bit of eyeliner at least on the top lid to succeed in my low-key quest to look like a friendly anime character or whatever else it is that day. But then, last fall, I got a sample size of this Buxom mascara at Sephora, and it was very tight—sort of like the mascara equivalent of the friend you make haphazard weekday plans with and end up drinking twice as much as you’d planned to because suddenly you feel like there’s space enough and fun enough and time. And even though this Buxom guy is $20 and I liked my cheapie drugstore shit just fine, I just kept re-buying it without really thinking about it, the way you repeat those weekday plans on zero notice with that friend. And, though several of my colleagues say that this Buxom guy does NOT work for them because it over-chunks and clumps their beautiful long lashes (must be nice, assholes), I would like to say that after a full year of using it, I have concluded that it is the perfect mascara for people with no eyelashes who are also not good at putting makeup on carefully. I grow more and more grateful to it on a daily basis for making ~20 seconds of wand wiggling look like Makeup.

It’s even broken me of my eyeliner habit. I would formerly not have ever gone to a formal event without eyeliner on—I was raised in Texas; this is just how I am—and I did, for the first time in a long time, over the weekend. And frequently now I pause between eye applications to think about how well this mascara is affirming and signal-boosting my formerly underrepresented, marginalized lashes.

Advertisement

Look at the difference on my stupid little face!

Illustration for article titled Here Is the Best Chunky-Ass Mascara for People With Otherwise Invisible Eyelashes

Am I cross-eyed? Who cares! I definitely would not feel qualified to say “best” about this mascara, also, if not for the fact that the Sweethome said it too. So let’s say you heard it there first, and now you’re hearing it here—Buxom “Lash Mascara” (?) is a chunky fuckin consciousness-raising group for your timid little eye fringe, and it’s the shit and I couldn’t recommend it more.

Illustration for article titled Here Is the Best Chunky-Ass Mascara for People With Otherwise Invisible Eyelashes
Advertisement

Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter

DISCUSSION

danie_bagel
Danie Bagel

Awesome. A thread about mascara!

Does anyone have any advice for actually, really, seriously waterproof mascara? Because I’ve tried so many. I used to love L’Oreal Voluminous, but I think at some point they changed their formula and it ends up all over my face.

I really like They’re Real, to the point where I was like “this stays reasonably well, but not perfect, but it’s not actually waterproof, so maybe I should try another Benefit mascara that is actually listed as waterproof”. NOPE. Bad Gal waterproof is NOT FUCKING WATERPROOF EITHER.

Look man, I have tearing issues, and I’m putting off having some ophthalmologist shove tubes in the tear ducts in my eyes, so I’d just like some mascara that stays on.

This has become my life quest. Help me, Obi Wan Kenobis of the makeup world.