So you’ve just started dating (boning) a new person and you’re not sure where it’s going and no one seems super invested but at the same time you’re not complete jerks who would pretend the holidays aren’t happening just to prove who is being chiller. Here’s what to get each other!
This notebook
Negging at Christmastime. Play on, player. (Barneys, $60)
An Audible.com subscription
This gift is more of a test than a gift. In the card, suggest a few awesome books and if, in a few weeks, they haven’t brought up anything about them, dump their ass. Who doesn’t have time to LISTEN to a BOOK? (Audible.com, starting at $45)
Olive Garden gift certificate (or whatever YOUR fave restaurant is, I’m not here to judge)
Look, you just started seeing this person. They could turn out to suck or they could dump you for your best friend in a matter of days. Get some breadsticks out of the deal while you still can. (Price and location vary)
Condom Variety Pack, along with a nice card
Nothing says DTF like a bunch of condoms. Literally nothing. (Amazon, $7.47)
Whichever nude Egon Schiele print looks the most like you
Ever notice how every hot person claims to love Egon Schiele? What is up with that? (Painting and Frame, starting at $19.90)
A Cute Bike Repair Kit
Where my codependents at? Where my adult children of alcoholics? Where my caretakers who just want to be sure you’re okay and safe and prepared for anything? (Pendleton, $16.99)
New The Weeknd, FKA Twigs & Miguel records (for having the sex to)
For this one you’re gonna need your own condoms on hand. Don’t forget. (The Weeknd Vinyl from Amazon, $39.98)
A Frank Lloyd Wright Jigsaw Puzzle
A couple that puzzles together, nuzzles together. Just made that up. Someone print the t-shirts. (Amazon, $29.99)
Contact the author at jane.marie@jezebel.com.
DISCUSSION
I can’t believe millihelen is over and Jane Marie is leaving (or worse, being pushed out). This is by far
one ofthe best Jezebel’s sub-blog, I love, love Deep Cuts, the 24 hours Beauty Diaries, the mall makeovers stories, the talk about make-up and beauty routines, the tips and tricks...and of course the best part is the editor, her wit and her tone. Jane Marie’s essays on her personal beauty treatments/surgeries, especially the one about her new vagina and the latest on botox are incredibly brave (as trite as it sounds) as well as funny, educative and thought-provoking. I was a big fan years ago on The Hairpin and I was so happy when it was announced she would get her own blog here. I can’t understand how someone as sharp and entertaining, who writes as well as her, while being able to edit this blog so perfectly, has not been chosen to edit this new site on whatever bs that is replacing millihelen.