Illustration for article titled Deep Cuts: Dick, Mushroom or Peanut Earrings? You Decide.

It’s payday. Welcome back to Deep Cuts where we get high and do some online clearance shopping together, right?

Keena Earrings, $13.59 (were $29) Fingers crossed Chico’s is still around bringing the hilarity when I’m 70.

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David Shrigley: Kleptomania Tote Bag, $16.95 (was $25) It's normal to get a boner from a tote bag, right?
David Shrigley: Kleptomania Tote Bag, $16.95 (was $25) It's normal to get a boner from a tote bag, right?
A Beautiful Life All Nighter Styling Powder, $11.95 (was $25) This shit is the best! It's like industrial-strength dry shampoo; gives you volume and grip. No idea why it's on sale, so beware the poisonous snake that might jump out at you.
A Beautiful Life All Nighter Styling Powder, $11.95 (was $25) This shit is the best! It's like industrial-strength dry shampoo; gives you volume and grip. No idea why it's on sale, so beware the poisonous snake that might jump out at you.
J. Crew Factory Boatneck Tee, $14.99 (was $49.50) The perfect beach cover up. Again, no idea why this is so cheap — the reviews are all great. You tell us!
J. Crew Factory Boatneck Tee, $14.99 (was $49.50) The perfect beach cover up. Again, no idea why this is so cheap — the reviews are all great. You tell us!

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AHHHH! WHAT A NIGHTMARE! TURN IT OFF!!! Err, I mean here is an at-home, electronic gel polish remover that's on sale.
AHHHH! WHAT A NIGHTMARE! TURN IT OFF!!! Err, I mean here is an at-home, electronic gel polish remover that's on sale.
Mercer Riley Slip Ons, $12.25 (were $35) 1. These a reminiscent of the perfect Rag & Bone Kents (also on sale here). 2. Do you wear house shoes? What kind? Let's talk about it.
Mercer Riley Slip Ons, $12.25 (were $35) 1. These a reminiscent of the perfect Rag & Bone Kents (also on sale here). 2. Do you wear house shoes? What kind? Let's talk about it.
Chantilly Lace Kimono, $43.99 (was $59.50) This is in the "Sleep" section at VictoriasSecret.com. LOL.
Chantilly Lace Kimono, $43.99 (was $59.50) This is in the "Sleep" section at VictoriasSecret.com. LOL.

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Malle W .Trousseau 43-Piece Kitchen Set, $3, 869.95 for MoMA members (was $5,800) The description says "The designer was inspired to create this set when his daughter left home and asked for kitchen items to take with her." That's. I mean. Like, was she off to college? What kitchen? Six grand? Who the? People are different. People sure are different.
Malle W .Trousseau 43-Piece Kitchen Set, $3, 869.95 for MoMA members (was $5,800) The description says "The designer was inspired to create this set when his daughter left home and asked for kitchen items to take with her." That's. I mean. Like, was she off to college? What kitchen? Six grand? Who the? People are different. People sure are different.

Contact the author at jane.marie@jezebel.com

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