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Deep Cuts: An Open Apology to Eileen Fisher

Illustration for article titled Deep Cuts: An Open Apology to Eileen Fisher


Shu Uemura Duocolor Blush in Fresh Apricot, $18.90 (was $35) Orange blush! Have you tried orange blush? You should. It's great, especially for darker skin tones. This one comes with its own highlighter, so really it's only nine bucks if you think super hard about it.

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		Marc by Marc Jacobs iPhone Cover, $17.50 (was $50) How this was ever fifty bucks is beyond me, but anyways put this in someone's basket this weekend. Preferably someone in high school.
Marc by Marc Jacobs iPhone Cover, $17.50 (was $50) How this was ever fifty bucks is beyond me, but anyways put this in someone's basket this weekend. Preferably someone in high school.

		Escape Ring, $8.99 (was $18) You know how sometimes you're like, "Am I missing all the trends? I keep seeing young ladies at the grocery store who just look... cool...I must be missing something." This is one of those things: chain rings. And I chose this particular one because it's simple. Why not try it?
Escape Ring, $8.99 (was $18) You know how sometimes you're like, "Am I missing all the trends? I keep seeing young ladies at the grocery store who just look... cool...I must be missing something." This is one of those things: chain rings. And I chose this particular one because it's simple. Why not try it?
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		Cheetah Twill Harem Pants, $19.98 with code "URGORGEOUS" (were $48.50) I would hardly call these "harem" pants, but they are cute. Look at the ankle details. For a fun time, and kind of a joke, but clothes should be funny sometimes, pair them with these:
Cheetah Twill Harem Pants, $19.98 with code "URGORGEOUS" (were $48.50) I would hardly call these "harem" pants, but they are cute. Look at the ankle details. For a fun time, and kind of a joke, but clothes should be funny sometimes, pair them with these:

		Jemma Kidd I-Rescue Cover, $6 (was $40 but now IT'S SIX DOLLARS) This claims to be an anti-aging, de-puffing under eye concealer but maybe it's poison?
Jemma Kidd I-Rescue Cover, $6 (was $40 but now IT'S SIX DOLLARS) This claims to be an anti-aging, de-puffing under eye concealer but maybe it's poison?
Body Wrap Long Leg Bodysuit, $25 (was $82) The plan was to say something about shapewear, but I just typo'd "hatewear" by accident so we'll leave it at that.
Body Wrap Long Leg Bodysuit, $25 (was $82) The plan was to say something about shapewear, but I just typo'd "hatewear" by accident so we'll leave it at that.
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		Deborah Lippmann "I've Gotta Be Me" Gift Set, $34.30 ($72 value) Deb's nail colors are too expensive, but they are soooo prettyyyy so she know's she's got us right where she wants us. Not today, Deb. Not today.
Deborah Lippmann "I've Gotta Be Me" Gift Set, $34.30 ($72 value) Deb's nail colors are too expensive, but they are soooo prettyyyy so she know's she's got us right where she wants us. Not today, Deb. Not today.

		Eileen Fisher's Greatest Achievement, a thousand bucks or so. This is not on sale, nor will it ever be, but that's not why it's here. This outfit is here as penance for all the times we said Eileen Fisher sucked. Clearly, we were wrong and we're sorry and we'll probably never do it again as long as you keep this up, Eileen. You and Deb win this round.
Eileen Fisher's Greatest Achievement, a thousand bucks or so. This is not on sale, nor will it ever be, but that's not why it's here. This outfit is here as penance for all the times we said Eileen Fisher sucked. Clearly, we were wrong and we're sorry and we'll probably never do it again as long as you keep this up, Eileen. You and Deb win this round.
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Contact the author at jane.marie@jezebel.com.

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DISCUSSION

What's with the Eileen Fisher haterade? I mean, it's not cheap, and it's clearly not designed for young women, but older women need to clothe themselves in something, and this stuff is made of quality fabrics, is stylish, versatile, minimalistic, a bit arty, skims over body parts we don't want emphasized, has interesting silhouettes and style longevity, and mixes well with others.

If you don't like the drapey, voluminous stuff, there is plenty that's body-conscious. Her palette is neutral and muted. And it is very different from the baggy, shapeless Mom clothes she was designing in the 80s and 90s. Can someone explain to me why it's considered so fugly?