Deep Cuts: 10 Clearance Items You Must Buy So That I Do Not

Every Friday we'll round up some hot junk that's on sale. Welcome to Deep Cuts.

House of Holland Nails, $11.37 (were $17.04) These have a totally dumb style name that I would not be caught dead typing out here but they are still pretty and would look great clutchin' dem tittays, am I right gals? [Update: What is with your pricing system, ASOS!? You're shifting things around by pennies! Do you work for the government?]

Claw & Chain Earring Set, $29.95 (was $48) Did you forget to pierce your ears way too many times by yourself in the basement of the apartment your mom moved everyone (except dad!) into the summer after 8th grade? You're in luck!
Cosabella Elise Bra, $57 (was $95) This is what Balentime's is all about. The matching thong is also on sale.
The Sartorialist Portrait Print, $15 (was $40!) You keep being like, "One day I'm going to start collecting art," and then you just keep sitting there not buying art, you know? Pretty soon your favorite bar story will be about that apartment you almost bought in Manhattan that excellent piece of art you could've gotten for $15 that one time.
Piers Atkinson Googlie-Eye Baseball Cap, $127.50 (was $425) There are two funerals happening THIS WEEK that I'd like to wear this to.
8 Other Reasons Game Over Body Chain, $29 ($58) This is Rihanna's beach body secret! Yup. It's not her perfect bod or face or attitude, it's a body chain. You're welcome.
Barneys New York Beauty Pouch Set, $24 (were $40) Nothing makes you feel like a fancier traveller than a set of toiletry pouches. But feel free to keep using a disgusting Ziploc freezer bag, hag.
Urban Decay Ammo Palette, $16 (was $34) And it comes with a tube of their primer which is like eye makeup cement. I just wish their packaging wasn't so... Hollywood. (In Hollywood, they love metallic skulls almost as much as they love fedoras. Come to think of it, I'm surprised this metallic skull isn't wearing a fedora.)
Rachel Comey Scorpio Oxfords, $219.95 (were $437) If you think these perfect things are still too expensive, keep scrolling...
Derek Lam Gold Skirt, $999 (was $3,990) LOL, JK! Ha. But it is 74% off. But no, JK. But that's a really huge markdown and the design is pretty classic but yeah, seriously JK big time... Right?

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