Sweatpants Don't Cause Divorce, People Cause Divorce

During a recent interview with Extra, Eva Mendes—actor, entrepreneur and mother to Ryan Gosling’s child—claimed to have found the key to a successful, long marriage. (Note: Eva Mendes isn’t married.) The secret? Never wear sweatpants. Our counter-argument: fuck that and sweatpant it up.

While out promoting her new…something (I double-checked—it’s a partnership with cosmetic brand CIRCA), Mendes was asked to define her style. “Feminine?” she replied. So does that mean no loungewear?

“You can’t do sweatpants… ladies, number one cause of divorce in America, sweatpants, no!”

There are lots of causes of divorce—marrying before you’re ready, infidelity, outgrowing each other, money and failing to produce a male heir all being among them. Not among them: Sweatpants. Sweatpants don’t cause divorce. Sweatpants are great. They’re great because comfort is great. And comfort in marriage is extra great.

Who knows what Eva Mendes wears around the house (a caftan? A whale-bone corset?) and, honestly, who cares what Eva Mendes wears around the house. As a wise woman once said, “If it makes you haaappyyyyyy, it can’t be that baaaa-aa-aaad.” That said, she is missing out. Husbands come and go, but your best sweats are forever. (Not really, but they’re far easier to replace.)