Holiday gifts for your boss are the grown up equivalent of an apple for the teacher: they’re mainly a token of appreciation (ha!), so don’t worry about spending a lot. If you like your boss/job, you want the gift to be memorable, but not too personal; useful (so they are forced to think of you whenever they pick the thing up) but not presumptuous about their interests (you aren’t friends.) And lastly, they should convey respect and admiration. You know, bullshit.

Emoji Place Cards

This gift says “Hey, I know you are a grown person who likes to entertain your fancy friends and I’ll never get invited to one of your epic dinner parties, don’t worry about me, but you’re still hip and with it.” (Barneys, $48)


Fancy bottle of scotch

It doesn’t even matter if they like scotch. Scotch is inherently distinguished, plus lots of them come in nice boxes that make for easy wrapping. Plus plus, you can sneak some from their desk drawer after hours and they’ll never know, trust me. (Master of Malt, $50 and up)


Working, Studs Terkel

Ok, ok, this one IS kind of a joke. I mean, the book is great, but it’s mainly about how hard working is. Hint hint. (Amazon, $14.97)


A $25 XpresSpa gift card

Does your boss travel a lot for work? Give the gift of roughly 10 minutes of relaxation during their next business trip. (XpresSpa, $25)


A succulent garden

Everyone likes succulent gardens on their desks right now. Don’t ask me why. (1800Flowers, $24.99)


Fisher Space Pen

This thing is just classy and cool and you can write upside down with it in zero gravity, for all you assistant astronauts out there. (Amazon, $14.95)


An hourglass

I just bought myself one of these at HomeGoods for $12 because I’m no one’s boss and I probably never will be :( (Rejuvenation, $28)


Contact the author at jane.marie@jezebel.com.

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Images via the respective vendors; Top Illustration by the Gawker Media art team.