Welcome back to Deep Cuts where we make fun of a bunch of hot junk that’s on sale and then secretly buy it anyway.

“I LOVE YOU MORE THAN...” Moonstone Charm, $3,185 (was $12,740) More than what? More than fucking what?

Sweater Weather Tote, $4.99 (was $18) Get a jump on fall, nerds.
Metallic iPhone 5 Case, $3.99 (wa $18.50) My pal Suzanne has this and it's actually really pretty (to my 2-year-old, but still).
Painter Boatneck Tee, $7.49 with code "COOLSALE" (was $35) Time to re-up your long sleeve T-shirts.
Reading Glasses, $8.50 (were $29) These are cute. Chico's strikes again.
Sephora + Pantone Limited Edition Color Block, $11 (was $22) Buy this and throw it in a drawer for your grandchild to discover some day.
Steve Madden "Nilunda" Sandal, $109. 95 (were closer to $80 when I got them at the mall the other day, but I'm not sure why.) OK, so these aren't on sale but I've been wearing them for a week and just wanted to tell you how cute and comfortable they are. Plus, they're suede so they'll transition nicely into fall.
Signed Alex Aiono Poster, $2 (was $10) Who is Alex Aiono? Poor Alex Aiono.

Contact the author at jane.marie@jezebel.com.