Welcome back to Deep Cuts where we scrape the bottom of the internet for discounts on some hot junk.

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TBA Dance Your Troubles Away Dress, $129 (was $269) See, this is what I’m talking about. This is a joke outfit and everyone needs at least one. Even the pregnant people. Behold:

Maternity Tunic, $14.50 (was $45) You already look like a cartoon, why not dress that cartoon up in a funky top that will be the talk of every holiday party this year. It’s fifteen bucks! Take a risk. Just pair it with leggings instead of hole-y jeans. (Also, this model is clearly not actually pregnant. The shoes are the tell.)

Leather Lobby Keychain, $13.60 with code EXTRA20 (was $24.50) I was going to make fun of this by saying something like “even your keys can dress funny” but now I kind of want it.

Izola Maritime Soap Set, $11.25 with code SHOPTOIT (was$18) The description for this item claims it is “handcrafted in the style of 18th-century toiletries” which sounds... sketchy. Weren’t they still battling the bubonic plague in the 1700s? Where my historians at?

Obsessive Compulsive Cosmetics “In Your Face” Set, $23 (was $47.50/$67 value) From the reviews: “I’m glad I just finally went with my gut because some of the reviews here about this set were so negative and let me just say FLAT OUT WRONG bc this has been one of my favorite purchases of the year.” Whoa.

Crystal Mosaic Pumps, $180 (were $325) Been eyeing these stupid things for months now. Should we just make our own? Wanna have a bedazzling contest?

Canvas 5-Shelf Organizer, $12.99 (was $19) I’m only showing you this as an excuse to tell you a tiny story: Last weekend I was at HomeGoods and this, I’d guess, 13-year-old found one of these and was BLOWN AWAY. She kept hollering, “Mom! MOM! LOOK! Look! Look what it does!,” as she crumpled it up and then hung it again. Really makes you think.

Woven Stretch Belt, $19.99 (was $59) Do you also feel like this belt constantly eludes you? While you’re over there at Chico’s, buy me these. Thanks, pal.

PB Teen Bed of Roses Duvet Cover, $89-129 Okay, this is not on sale and it is for children and the decorative pillows are hideous, but WANT.


Contact the author at jane.marie@jezebel.com.